Becoming Fearless

In July of 2023, I was asked to speak at the FMWF Chamber Women’s Connect Event. My topic was on fear. It’s one I’m deeply connected to, which isn’t something that I am necessarily proud of, but I’m also not ashamed of it. This idea of doing life scared and building confidence is one that has been intertwined in my experiences professionally and personally.

Photo Credit: Fargo Moorhead West Fargo Chamber of Commerce

Fear has gripped me for most of my life. I can trace back interpretations of my experiences as a child or events in my life that triggered this fear. While the origin story may not matter as much, the reality is that what I did to overcome is what I’m sharing today.

In 2016, I took a whole year to do the things that terrified me. I wanted to be done with fear, once and for all. Additionally, I was working for an organization where my job was to publicly speak about the work our nonprofit was doing. It frustrated me that my boss was ‘forcing’ me to speak from a podium. The truth was that it was part of my job requirement and he saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself.

It took an entire year of practicing public speaking, hyperventilating, crying, and then doing it again. Scared.

That year, not only did I do work ‘scared.’ I did my personal life scared. I decided that I would force myself to go be quiet, write, journal and teach myself through repetition how to quiet myself and learn the practice of peace. Inherently, I knew that if I could learn and practice these principles, I would be able to rewire my brain and build the practice of courage. Things I did outside the walls of my work included: hiking, camping, traveling and staying places alone. The fear of being alone was impacting my confidence at home and at work, so I became ruthless in my choices of forcing my brain to change.

What happened after that year surprised me. All the little steps in doing it scared brought me to say yes to an international humanitarian project in the Middle East. The practice of learning courage never felt ‘courageous’.

Admittedly, there were times that I was scared. It was in learning how to overcome that fear that my personal confidence was built. It was practicing courage when I wanted to run and hide that brought some of the most amazing experiences to my personal and professional life.

This is why I’m so passionate about helping women overcome their fears of failure, their anxieties of inadequacy and build an authentic community where we can do life scared. Together.

Why are Women in the Workplace Questioning their Worth?

By Melanie Iverson Rudd - March 2024

In 2019, She Overcomes launched to empower female founders to grow and scale their businesses after an alarming study was released from Mastercard regarding the state of women in business. Our Masquerade Gala that celebrated our pilot program was a hit, and marked the scalability of local women business owners in the community. We had the privilege to offer partial grants to three separate women who presenting their ideas for growth to a panel of judges.

Today, we couldn’t be more thrilled to announce our new program, which is laser focused on building confidence and courage in community. At a glance, here’s why we updated our mission and vision to include all women pursuing career growth and community:

Confidence and courage in community isn’t a luxury. It’s an absolute necessity.

• 75% of women indicate they struggle with the imposter phenomenon - which is primarily made up of four mindsets that prohibit growth, confidence and security in the workplace. This results in higher levels of anxiety and depression. (Forbes)

• Many women won’t apply for a job unless she’s 90-100% qualified (Harvard Business Review and LinkedIn).

• The Surgeon General released an article in May of 2023 indicating that while we are the most digitally connected, but the most disconnected generation. This isolation and loneliness pandemic has a simple solutions that include implementing opportunities for social connection.

Equipping and educating women with skills necessary for their personal and professional development impacts your company’s bottom line.

We have created a new program to overcome fear and focus on building and growing confidence in women. When you invest in a woman, you invest in a generational shift that has the power to change the landscape for the future. We can’t be the champion of every cause, but we can empower women to take their place with confidence and courage, understanding their purpose.

Here are three reasons why investing in your purpose driven confidence is important :

1. In times of economic downturn, one investment will always produce a return: investing in your own education, skills and development. The class, the coaching or your expanded network has the power to serve you in the future by equipping you with what you need to level up and grow.

2. Inspiration = happiness. Psychology Today reported that ‘Dr. David Rock, Co-founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute, has trained over 10,000 executive, personnel, and workplace coaches in more than 64 countries. He says:

   “Engagement is a state of being willing to do difficult things, to take risks, to think deeply about issues and develop new solutions…. Interest, happiness, joy, and desire are approach emotions. This state is one of increased dopamine levels, important for interest and learning.”

3. Retraining our brains is not only important, it can replace negative mindsets and habits with those that we need for our success. Self directed neuroplasticity leads to upgrade personal and professional beliefs behaviors and experiences. Steven Jones, Ph. D says in this Linked In report:

   “For instance, replacing an unwanted habit with a desirable one leads to new neural pathways that support the thinking and behaviors underlying the new habit. As the old habit diminishes, the neural pathways (i.e., brain circuits) that supported them weaken or disintegrate.”